"If
there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand
up" said the sarcastic lecturer.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself
an idiot?" enquired the lecturer with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student,
"but I hate to see you standing up there all by
yourself."
The
light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming
train. (Robert Lowell)
What's
the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny Youngman)
There
are three easy ways of losing money - racing is the quickest,
women the most pleasant, and farming
the most certain. (Lord Amherst)
My
formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.
(Paul Getty)
Any
astronomer can predict with absolute accuracy just where every
star in the universe will be at 11.30
tonight. He can make no such prediction about his teenage
daughter. (James T. Adams)
Watching
your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing
over a million- dollar
Stradivarius to a gorilla. (Jim Bishop)
Children
really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights
off. (Ralph Bus)
There
are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does
not believe in Santa Claus; he is
Santa Claus. (Bob Phillips)
I
never met a kid I liked. (W.C. Fields)
Is not this the true romantic feeling- not to desire
to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping
you?" (Thomas Wolfe)
The
light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming
train. (Robert Lowell)